Who are you and why did you leave this for me?

I got up this morning to find that one of my herd had gotten into the refrigerator. They then proceeded to make a "snack".  By snack, I mean something that would feed a family of four, with leftovers.  They then left all their mess out, presumably for me to see that they in deed ate something healthy.  Well, that's what I am choosing to believe as the only other reason for this mess is that they are lazy.  Couldn't possibly be that, right?

My kids believe that I obsess about the cleanliness of this house.  So one day last week, I didn't do anything.  No dishes, no beds being made (or yelling at, pleading or plain grounding of kids who choose not to), didn't loose my mind over dishes left in the living room (which has been off limits for food consumption since pre-birth, however this hasn't stopped them from eating in there), nothing.  When I came home from work, well, let's just say my house had developed a peculiar smell, there were no clean dishes anywhere and the floors were sticky.  I didn't inquire about the floors as I admit it, I was afraid to find out why.  I have come to believe that there are certain things about which the less knowledge, the better.  Here is a portion of the following conversation:

"Hey mom.  What's for dinner?" It is 3 p.m. and while I notice the state of my kitchen, it becomes abundantly clear these kids aren't starving

"Nothing.  No clean kitchen, no food."  I walk upstairs.

"Are you kidding??  We are starving!"  Someone explain to me how they can say that with a straight face!

"Oh, so you want food do you?"

"YES!"

"Well, start cleaning up the kitchen.  When the kitchen is clean, I will start to cook."

You know the funny part?  For three "starving" kids, it took them 45 minutes to start to clean.  But the arguing started immediately.  It had to be decided who would fetch what and put it where and who would sweep.  Apparently I have been lax in showing my kids a broom and how to use it properly, but should you need anyone to show you how to use this tool as a sword, or a Congo stick or pool cue or bat, my oldest will happily oblige.  Someone had to find the vacuum cleaner and then figure out how to remove the sock that was now firmly wedged in the roller.  My kids are geniuses at "sweeping the room with a glance" and have yet figured out that just because the Dyson company claims their vacuum cleaner won't loose suction, it is not to be considered a challenge.  Middle child seems to feel that any vacuum cleaner worth owning should not require one to pre-clean the room prior to use.  He's vacuumed over pencils, more change that most banks see in a year, socks (currently his favorite thing to run over) the edge of an afghan my mom made me (tearing the yarn on it), his shirt, food items he's dropped in the room he wasn't supposed to be eating in, a spoon and a rubber balloon.  He is now very knowledgeable in how to unstop a vacuum cleaner as I make him fix it every time he screws it up.  The sock issue is, like the eating food in the living room, one more rule that all four other members in my home like to break.  We have 3 clothes hampers.  Yet there's a disconnect with our family in the belief that clothes removed will not walk themselves up to the hamper and jump in.  I am happy to report that this issue isn't just a Bedard family occurrence as one of my dearest friends got so fed up with her husband not putting his dirty clothes in the hamper, she started folding them up and placing them back in his drawer.  Even then, he didn't notice it for 2 months!!  Which is light years away from when my family would notice.  Somehow, we've produced children with no sense of smell.  I wish I could say the same.

So now I will go clean up the kitchen as I am hungry and want to eat breakfast.  They are in bed still and it's just not worth it to wake them up and make them clean.  The quiet is refreshing, even if I have to wash, dry, feed livestock and wash the floors....I think it's orange juice.....on the floor...and the counter.....and the refrigerator door handle...and towel.........