As you know, I am divesting myself of stuff. It is a"work in progress". Anything worth doing will almost always be a work in progress. In this case however, finishing isn't as important. It's more or less an evolving, not a "check it off the list of things to get done" thing. If you think about it, any change you make in your life will require you to think, re-think and sometimes think again. I have been doing alot of "rethinking" of what I want in my life and what I can do without.
As a hobbyist, you collect stuff. People give you stuff. Stuff just magically "appears". Once word gets out that you like crafts, it's almost always assumed that you would just love someone else's stash. The truth is, sometimes you do. More than likely though, you probably don't. I have inherited a whole basement full of stuff. Fabric I would never have bought for myself. Yarn of dubious quality, not to mention no idea of the fiber content. Is it acrylic? If so, is it all acrylic or is it a blend? Someones' tossed aside knitting needles, metal of course (I favor wood) and nicked and scratched to boot. I even got a counted cross stitch picture, half stitched, with rust on the fabric. Rust! I couldn't do anything with it and now it is lining a dump somewhere. For a long time, I was afraid of throwing away something given to me. Usually, if I received something from someone, it would be noticed if someone else showed up with it. That's a problem when you have a very tight group of friends, we know everyone's secrets and what everyone has, hasn't and what they want and admire. Unless you need to get rid of something. It's amazing to realize that it is o.k. to not want something. To give yourself permission to shed stuff that you would not have purchased for yourself, know that someone else would love to have it, cherish more than you and if it truly is rubbish, having the courage to decide to do the world a favor and get rid of it.
But like friends, tossing your belongings aside or just letting them go to someone else, can be difficult. You have to be able to answer the question, "what does this signify to me and why is it so important for me to hold onto it?" That's the problem true hoarders have. They get stuff to the point that stuff owns them. Everything is so important yet when pushed to answer the hard question "why", they have difficulty putting into words what their excuses are. The stuff that really means something, well, that is easy to answer.
"This belonged to my grandmother. When I see it, I remember the countless times that she used it." This is an item that can't be replaced as it has serious meaning for you. The problem is when you have stuff that has no real meaning for you and yet you can't get rid of it. After a bit, this becomes your security blanket. You feel safe with it around. Maybe you went through a major life upheaval, job loss, death of a loved one, something that affected you in a manner you just couldn't deal with rationally. So you latched onto something safe. I remember after a 2 1/2 year layoff, that even when I was working elsewhere and barely making ends meet, thinking "when I get my job back, I am going to purchase so much yarn. This way, if I see something I want to make, I won't have to worry about having the money to purchase the stuff to make it." In my case, I come by stuff acquisition naturally. My dad's mother, raised two boys alone (her husband died of a heart attack early in life). Not only did she put herself through school, she purchased a home (this in the time where women had to have a co-signer for a loan). She took in relatives children (a whole house of them) when the mother came down with TB. She did this with no help from the state. The older children tended the younger children. She worked 3 to 11. They all graduated high school, they went on to having successful lives. They were fed, clean, dressed and didn't want for much. Yet, even when many times there was more "month than money", she still put food up into a pantry. She would buy 1 skein of yarn more and put that skein back "just in case". My mother's mom, canned, put up tons of food, hardly used a grocery store. These women were from the Depression. My mom moved us all to Maine when my dad got stationed here and the first thing she did was set up a pantry. I can still hear her today "You can never tell when you'll need something and the roads will be impassable or a friend will need some help." She still has a pantry that would feed her for over 6 months.
I have a really large food pantry. It is my security blanket. But I have to admit, when I see those bins of fabric, yarn, fiber, I feel safe. The really difficult thing is realizing that just because something like my many hobbies, something that means so much to me, defines who I am and what I value, does not have the same meaning to my children. I had a real epiphany watching "Hoarders" the other night. The daughter of a true hoarder made the comment that when her mother died, all this stuff was headed to a town dump. I looked around at my stash. Would my children feel the same way? I am not taking it with me when I go, so I have to give thought to what is going to happen to it when I'm gone. My sons would happily just give away or throw away my stuff without another thought. My daughter would be less quick to throw, but what defines me, doesn't define her. I don't want her to hold onto some of my stash, only to have it become her ball and chain. I explained that to her and she told me not to worry. She did a mini-version of the "100 thing challenge" and I've seen monks cells with more stuff. Hoarding is not going to be a problem for her. Her needs a few, a t.v.(for Netflix), a computer, 1 writer she likes alot and her cellphone. That's it. The boys have a bit more, add to that my daughters stuff: video systems (that's right, with an "s") games, boom box and MP3 players. Ipads and tablets.
I have to have my Kindle Fire and my tablet. They are either with me at work or in my knitting bag. Always.
A side effect of following this to it's natural conclusion is trying to figure out who should get my stuff when I am gone. It sounds morbid, but I am really giving thought to including some of my "I would love to know that so & so would receive this" feelings. To accept the fact that just because it means so much to me, but that it may ONLY mean so much to me. I question my friends. They think it odd but they are coming around. The more I examine the hold my stuff has on me, the more I answer those difficult questions, the more I shed my belongings like a snake sheds it's skin, the reins loosen, the hold eases up, it gets easier and easier. You realize that you have value that extend up and beyond what you have. You are not defined by the stuff you have but by the joy the stuff you have brings you. And you will find as you let go, you can and will be happier with less.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Let's play a game!
I am not sure why this is, but if I am seated, minding my own business, not bothering anybody, the remaining four people in this household feel some sort of obligation to come find me and find something useful for me to do. Obviously, they feel, I must be bored silly so therefore it is their sole job in life to fix that. Their method of fixing this is to either break something, demand food, offer to make their own food (which while that SOUNDS like the way to go, often times produces more destruction and loss of food I was saving/making for dinner/made to be your dad's lunch at work tomorrow than even I can overlook. And I can overlook ALOT). or choose to invite their friends over because "don't worry, mom's not doing anything and she loves to cook, so she can rustle us up something to eat." I would love to say this is all about the kids, but I'd be lying. Husband dearest like to make eggs over easy and occasionally he ends up with egg not quite making it into the pan. I've come home from work to see egg on my countertops, once dripping down the front of my stove and pans (and drip pans over the gas burners of my stove) soaking in the sink.
Where did they get THAT idea? Could be because 90% of my day revolves around the kitchen. Could be because 90% of THEIR day revolves around the kitchen (hence explaining why my time in the kitchen is as much as it is). But one thing I've noticed is that left to their own devices, my kids can invent more things for me to worry about, question their sanity, question MY sanity, rethink my stance on childlessness and sometimes wonder why I got married. Take Thursday for example.
I am downstairs hanging laundry. I am only gone a short period of time. As I come up the stairs, I encounter an unusual smell. More of a stench. A bad stench. Now I have raised 2 boys so I am almost a genius at "guess that smell". But this one is like sulfur, rancid fat, and something "hot".
"What is that odor?" I demand as soon as I get both feet on the 1st floor. "What did you do now?"
"Well, he (being a friend who shall remain nameless so that his mom can hold her head up in public) wanted to know if egg shells burn so we tried to light one on fire."
Yep. 20 years old and 18 years old and still playing with fire. I am blessed.
"Where is your sister?" As it turns out, she is in her room. She told me later that she didn't want to be a part of whatever stupid human trick her brothers were going to do THIS time and sought refuge in the sanctuary of her room. And could I please do SOMETHING about that smell?? PLEASE AND NOW??
Want to take a guess as to how long it took to get that stench out of my house? Well, that was Thursday, it is now Sunday and it's about 90% gone.
For the record, eggs will burn. But not before releasing a truly obnoxious, foul, stench that you will not forget anytime soon.
If only I could.......
Where did they get THAT idea? Could be because 90% of my day revolves around the kitchen. Could be because 90% of THEIR day revolves around the kitchen (hence explaining why my time in the kitchen is as much as it is). But one thing I've noticed is that left to their own devices, my kids can invent more things for me to worry about, question their sanity, question MY sanity, rethink my stance on childlessness and sometimes wonder why I got married. Take Thursday for example.
I am downstairs hanging laundry. I am only gone a short period of time. As I come up the stairs, I encounter an unusual smell. More of a stench. A bad stench. Now I have raised 2 boys so I am almost a genius at "guess that smell". But this one is like sulfur, rancid fat, and something "hot".
"What is that odor?" I demand as soon as I get both feet on the 1st floor. "What did you do now?"
"Well, he (being a friend who shall remain nameless so that his mom can hold her head up in public) wanted to know if egg shells burn so we tried to light one on fire."
Yep. 20 years old and 18 years old and still playing with fire. I am blessed.
"Where is your sister?" As it turns out, she is in her room. She told me later that she didn't want to be a part of whatever stupid human trick her brothers were going to do THIS time and sought refuge in the sanctuary of her room. And could I please do SOMETHING about that smell?? PLEASE AND NOW??
Want to take a guess as to how long it took to get that stench out of my house? Well, that was Thursday, it is now Sunday and it's about 90% gone.
For the record, eggs will burn. But not before releasing a truly obnoxious, foul, stench that you will not forget anytime soon.
If only I could.......
Friday, February 28, 2014
Hey look! I do have a sewing machine under all that stuff!
I am a collector. I am a crafter. I have amassed a ridiculously large collection of "stuff". I have never met a craft store I haven't liked and I am on a 1st name basis with many such stores in the area. When we went to Pennsylvania with the kids (Hershey Park for a week) and then on an 8 day Caribbean cruise, the 1st question I had when we went ashore was "Are there any craft stores or fabric stores or yarn/fiber stores around?" I didn't find any in Nassau (probably because husband dearest drug me away from almost every island loving human we came into contact with) and he wouldn't let me out of the park in PA. Although, I did bring some knitting with me to both places. And books. That's right, with an "s" at the end. As in "more than one". Last summer, on a camping trip, I brought my spinning wheel. AND USED IT! My oldest and youngest went paddle boating, our middle son was away at Army drills, hubby dearest took our dog Chelsea for a walk and I sat by the fire, overlooking the water and spun yarn all day long. But this is my way of relaxing. I have many friends who will gladly tell you they have never, ever, ever, seen me without something to work on with me. I go to church with knitting in my pew (although I haven't resorted to knitting during the sermon) but I have it with me in case we have to stay longer. When I take my daughter to St. Paul's for rite 13, I knit while I am in a Bible study which meets at the same time as rite 13. I knit at work during lunch. I crochet, as a break from knitting. I weave when I am tired of doing knitting or crocheting. I do counted cross stitch in the summer as the bright sun makes the holes easier to see. Needlepoint too. I spin (both wheel and now drop spindle) whenever I can. I sew or quilt when I get the urge. But if I get tired of that all, I read.
Which like I stated earlier, explains why I have amassed such a collection of "stuff". I am afraid to throw out anything, just in case I might need it later. After all, I must have needed it at some time, because I wouldn't have purchased it if I didn't need it. But when I read the 100 item challenge, I really felt convicted. It's not quite as bad as what you see on Hoarders. But I need to nip this in the butt. So, in January I started getting rid of my stash.
A pleasant surprise has occurred though. I purchased two years ago a 1917 Singer treadle sewing machine. It is in perfect condition, decals and paint are pristine, works like a champ, has all the feet and attachments to go with it and is a beautiful machine. Yeah, I'm not proud, much. And it sits, all closed up, in our bedroom. With (because it has a flat surface all closed up and we all know, flat surfaces don't stay empty for long) a mountain of stuff on top. Fat quarters that I purchased at Mardens and at this lovely quilt shop here in Litchfield that frankly if you didn't know it existed, you'd never find it. I've driven past it for YEARS without paying it any attention until a friend of mine in a quilting guild asked me if I had heard of it. Nope, I replied, so with Garmin in tow, I drove her and I right to it's doorstep. OMG, the fabric!!!!! The tools!!!! You could be there for hours. But if you miss the very small sign out front, you'd never find it. Hubby dearest wishes I hadn't found it. But I digress. I have all the fat quarters, and library books and sewing books and mail and some mending that's been tossed up on top of the leaning tower of stuff. So today, I sorted through it all. My friend is getting some fat quarters I just know she'd love (including some that I purchased from that store that she'd eyeballed but was buying other fabric), I found old mail that is now lining my garbage can, Library books are now in the car to be returned. I opened up the sewing lid, pulled out and set up the sewing machine, gave it a good oiling, sewed for a bit and then decided, dust be damned, I'm leaving it up. Less room to pile stuff on and it sure does look pretty! And isn't it nice to have something pleasant to look at? Yeah, I'm not proud, much.......
Which like I stated earlier, explains why I have amassed such a collection of "stuff". I am afraid to throw out anything, just in case I might need it later. After all, I must have needed it at some time, because I wouldn't have purchased it if I didn't need it. But when I read the 100 item challenge, I really felt convicted. It's not quite as bad as what you see on Hoarders. But I need to nip this in the butt. So, in January I started getting rid of my stash.
A pleasant surprise has occurred though. I purchased two years ago a 1917 Singer treadle sewing machine. It is in perfect condition, decals and paint are pristine, works like a champ, has all the feet and attachments to go with it and is a beautiful machine. Yeah, I'm not proud, much. And it sits, all closed up, in our bedroom. With (because it has a flat surface all closed up and we all know, flat surfaces don't stay empty for long) a mountain of stuff on top. Fat quarters that I purchased at Mardens and at this lovely quilt shop here in Litchfield that frankly if you didn't know it existed, you'd never find it. I've driven past it for YEARS without paying it any attention until a friend of mine in a quilting guild asked me if I had heard of it. Nope, I replied, so with Garmin in tow, I drove her and I right to it's doorstep. OMG, the fabric!!!!! The tools!!!! You could be there for hours. But if you miss the very small sign out front, you'd never find it. Hubby dearest wishes I hadn't found it. But I digress. I have all the fat quarters, and library books and sewing books and mail and some mending that's been tossed up on top of the leaning tower of stuff. So today, I sorted through it all. My friend is getting some fat quarters I just know she'd love (including some that I purchased from that store that she'd eyeballed but was buying other fabric), I found old mail that is now lining my garbage can, Library books are now in the car to be returned. I opened up the sewing lid, pulled out and set up the sewing machine, gave it a good oiling, sewed for a bit and then decided, dust be damned, I'm leaving it up. Less room to pile stuff on and it sure does look pretty! And isn't it nice to have something pleasant to look at? Yeah, I'm not proud, much.......
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Normal people use their vacation time.........
It is snowing here in Maine. A nice little nor'easter. We are getting about 8" (more or less) of snow. I took today off from work as I do not drive in snow. Not saying I can't, I just chose not to. If the roads are so bad that a school bus can't maneuver them, I feel pretty safe saying I shouldn't be on them either. I am the lead car in a 12 car train, with me gripping the wheel tightly, heart pounding, driving 30 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. Not worth it.
So, what did I do for "fun" today?? I cleaned our bathroom. I sorted through alot of clothes that Salvation Army is going to be getting. I found out Salvation Army takes magazines, thereby saving a dump somewhere of the mountainous piles of magazines I've been keeping (hoarding).
We have 2 full baths. For some insane reason however everyone in our home uses our master bath. The kids bathroom is clean. Our bathroom looks like a football team locker room following a party. On a good day. Today was NOT a good day.
It appears to be common knowledge in our home (among our kids at least) that garbage cans expand to hold garbage put in them, above and beyond the current size they are. I don't know how else to explain it. Once the can is full, my family keeps on dumping more and more garbage in. It backs up the wall, it topples over to the floor, it gets itself up and into our laundry hamper. And three teenage/young adult kids can not figure out that if you empty the container into the large plastic bag I've provided for just such a moment as this, put a new plastic grocery bag into the now empty garbage can, mom will stop screaming and carrying on like a deranged gorilla in heat. Apparently the current assumption is that garbage removal causes brain damage. Or watching mom go all nut-so and fruit loops on your butt is funny. Or both. Which is why a bad day at work is sometimes better than a good day at home.
Our tub/mud bath was a disgrace. I realized it was dirty but was busy cleaning other dirtier rooms and finally when I got to it, it resembled our garden during spring planting. Nothing was cutting that mess. In frustration, I googled "how to clean a dirty tub" when someone wrote "try borax". Well, lo and behold, God must have been smiling down on me cause in my pantry downstairs (of COURSE it was downstairs!) is a 5 gallon bucket of borax! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I sprinkled it on, let it sit and TA DA!!!!! Nice, clean bathroom!
Other people go camping on their vacations. Other people go see movies, go out to eat, visit with friends.....I scrub bathrooms. I am now officially crazy.
So, what did I do for "fun" today?? I cleaned our bathroom. I sorted through alot of clothes that Salvation Army is going to be getting. I found out Salvation Army takes magazines, thereby saving a dump somewhere of the mountainous piles of magazines I've been keeping (hoarding).
We have 2 full baths. For some insane reason however everyone in our home uses our master bath. The kids bathroom is clean. Our bathroom looks like a football team locker room following a party. On a good day. Today was NOT a good day.
It appears to be common knowledge in our home (among our kids at least) that garbage cans expand to hold garbage put in them, above and beyond the current size they are. I don't know how else to explain it. Once the can is full, my family keeps on dumping more and more garbage in. It backs up the wall, it topples over to the floor, it gets itself up and into our laundry hamper. And three teenage/young adult kids can not figure out that if you empty the container into the large plastic bag I've provided for just such a moment as this, put a new plastic grocery bag into the now empty garbage can, mom will stop screaming and carrying on like a deranged gorilla in heat. Apparently the current assumption is that garbage removal causes brain damage. Or watching mom go all nut-so and fruit loops on your butt is funny. Or both. Which is why a bad day at work is sometimes better than a good day at home.
Our tub/mud bath was a disgrace. I realized it was dirty but was busy cleaning other dirtier rooms and finally when I got to it, it resembled our garden during spring planting. Nothing was cutting that mess. In frustration, I googled "how to clean a dirty tub" when someone wrote "try borax". Well, lo and behold, God must have been smiling down on me cause in my pantry downstairs (of COURSE it was downstairs!) is a 5 gallon bucket of borax! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I sprinkled it on, let it sit and TA DA!!!!! Nice, clean bathroom!
Other people go camping on their vacations. Other people go see movies, go out to eat, visit with friends.....I scrub bathrooms. I am now officially crazy.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
New Year's Resolutions and my new lifestyle.
Do you make resolutions every year? I stopped a few years ago because I couldn't take the disappointment when in December you realize that you failed AGAIN at keeping something. Yeah, like everyone loves failing, and being reminded of it year after year, right? This year I found something interesting though. On the computer, there was a challenge issued by another blogger. Get rid of 100 items. Do this as often as you can or desire to, but, 100 items by December of 2014. She went on to say that our overabundance of stuff was making us crazy. She quoted health professionals, her own personal experience, friends experiences when she challenged them. So, I said, I could do this.
I got rid of my 1st 100 items. Salvation Army was thrilled. My husband was REALLY thrilled as I am a collector (hoarder) of so much stuff. Then I started on my second 100. Now the real challenge is to NOT go out and purchase another 100 items. I started by reading a book she said was terrific, "Almost Amish". That book led me to a few others and they led me to a few others. I kept a list of every purchase (and cost) of all the stuff I buy weekly (serious eye opener!) and it was when I was emptying out my 2nd bin of magazines, I had an epiphany, I had spent a FORTUNE on magazines that I no longer used and stored them when I didn't want to get rid of them (my hoarder instinct) and used very few if any of the recipes/patterns from them. A LOT of my time was used in the care and storage of stuff I didn't really use! I put them on Freecycle and they are gone. 2 bins. 2 18 gallon bins. Want to guess how heavy that was?? Unfortunately, I have at least 4 more bins to go through. But I am LOVING this challenge.
I did take many of her suggestions too. Since I am a serious hobbyist, I got rid of alot of "need to try this, bought it, didn't like it/didn't live up to the hype/don't understand how to use it" hobby stuff. Got rid of projects I started and then abandoned because they didn't work out, they were not as cute as the article led me to think it would be.......Pared down all my hobby stuff to just the things that define who I am. I am a knitter, spinner, weaver, crocheter, sewer, needleworker and quilter. Oh and reader. But I donated almost all the books I had collected (or are in the process of donating; like I said, I am on my second 100 items). I now utilize my library to read books I don't want to purchase, check out movies from them that I want to see but not necessarily want to own (Must I really spend $25 to see a movie the very day it comes out? Or can I wait to see it 6 months later, for free, from my library?). Pared down my magazine purchases to two, both on spinning. I've donated some yarn that wasn't what I thought it would be. Surprisingly, the world did not stop spinning. No major earthquakes, no riots in the streets. My bedroom, ever the death trap, is somewhat cleaner. I am a LONG way from where I want to be, but I am on a woman on a mission. I haven't felt this inspired in so very, very long. It is a cathartic feeling. My daughter joined me in this mission and her room is almost empty of what she called "clutter". My oldest and middle son are somewhat doing this as well.
Want to take up the challenge? First, do some brain work. Seriously think about who you are, what you love/are passionate about, what you would take with you if you knew you were going to be stranded on an island. Ask yourself why you don't have the time to pursue your passion (in my case, it was because life got in the way) and then ask what can you get rid of/delegate to someone else to do/limit your time doing, so that you can live a calmer life. Check books out of your local library. Google "Minimalist living" "Living Simple (or simple living). Here is what I have accomplished:
I found I spent an inordinate amount of time washing dishes. Yes, our kids wash them too, but still, way too much time doing this. So, I took one of my empty magazine bins, and loaded up 85% of my kitchen clutter in it. This left only 6 plates, 6 glasses, 6 forks, 6 spoons, 6 knives, 6 coffee cups, in my kitchen. One thing for each of the five people who live here and 1 set for company. I had two full sets of pots and pans. That's right, I packed up one full set. Wherever I found duplicates, I kept one, packed one up. Really emptied out my kitchen. Family objections? Yep. But they are coming around. It takes a fraction of the time to clean up the kitchen. One thing one of the books I read stated was that if you are unsure as to whether or not to donate something, put in a bin and store it for 3 months. That's right, put a piece of tape on the bin with today's date and then 3 months from today, if you haven't used it, donate it. If you use it once or twice a year (my turkey pan/platter, my deviled egg tray, my cranberry sauce dish) they now go downstairs and are not in the kitchen.
Onto the bath. I have an under-the-sink bin. And 4 drawers. I took out all the half used lotions/potions/stuff and tossed them. I took out all the stuff that was expired and threw them away. If it fits into the bin, it can stay. If not, well, we must not really need this.
Like I've said, this is a work in progress. I have agreed to not purchase anymore yarn, fiber, weaving materials until I use up most of what I have now. So guess who's getting homemade stuff for Christmas? That's right. Hey look, a money saver too! I already have enough stuff purchased to make everyone in North America a little (or big) something, now's a chance to pare it down.
But how do I feel? At first, I felt "this doesn't bother me". Then "why the hell am I doing this?". Then I thought of bargaining (You know, if you purchase this skein of yarn/this new gadget/this fiber, it would go with the "fill in the blank" that you already have and would look great together!) Then worried (what if I need something and I don't have it? I've always had such and such and now.....) but now, I feel good. Reminds me of a nursing book I read when my mom worked as an oncology nurse, "On death and dying". It listed almost the same 5 stages. Those were: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The more I read (library books, no purchased books for me) the more I see how much money I've wasted, how much time I've given away to the care and wellbeing of stuff that I didn't use anyway and how much of a carbon footprint I have left. And you know what? I have more time. Time I spent doing a million of declutter jobs is now time I spend doing fun stuff. The difference between having life and really living. You can navigate our bedroom without needing a sherpa guide. My kitchen isn't as cluttered and top heavy as it was. Oh look! Countertops! Lots of countertops. When I open a door to a cabinet, I don't need to worry about needing a hard hat. I am going to let the Jones go on purchasing and collecting their stuff and I am not going to try keeping up with them. Easy? Sometimes. Hard? Sometimes. But in the end, it's about who you are, what you want to do and how you want to do it. The less stuff you have, the less stress you have (lot's of medical opinion on that and I was surprised to find that the more stuff you have, the more stress you have).
Maybe this is why the Amish have a somewhat easier life.
I got rid of my 1st 100 items. Salvation Army was thrilled. My husband was REALLY thrilled as I am a collector (hoarder) of so much stuff. Then I started on my second 100. Now the real challenge is to NOT go out and purchase another 100 items. I started by reading a book she said was terrific, "Almost Amish". That book led me to a few others and they led me to a few others. I kept a list of every purchase (and cost) of all the stuff I buy weekly (serious eye opener!) and it was when I was emptying out my 2nd bin of magazines, I had an epiphany, I had spent a FORTUNE on magazines that I no longer used and stored them when I didn't want to get rid of them (my hoarder instinct) and used very few if any of the recipes/patterns from them. A LOT of my time was used in the care and storage of stuff I didn't really use! I put them on Freecycle and they are gone. 2 bins. 2 18 gallon bins. Want to guess how heavy that was?? Unfortunately, I have at least 4 more bins to go through. But I am LOVING this challenge.
I did take many of her suggestions too. Since I am a serious hobbyist, I got rid of alot of "need to try this, bought it, didn't like it/didn't live up to the hype/don't understand how to use it" hobby stuff. Got rid of projects I started and then abandoned because they didn't work out, they were not as cute as the article led me to think it would be.......Pared down all my hobby stuff to just the things that define who I am. I am a knitter, spinner, weaver, crocheter, sewer, needleworker and quilter. Oh and reader. But I donated almost all the books I had collected (or are in the process of donating; like I said, I am on my second 100 items). I now utilize my library to read books I don't want to purchase, check out movies from them that I want to see but not necessarily want to own (Must I really spend $25 to see a movie the very day it comes out? Or can I wait to see it 6 months later, for free, from my library?). Pared down my magazine purchases to two, both on spinning. I've donated some yarn that wasn't what I thought it would be. Surprisingly, the world did not stop spinning. No major earthquakes, no riots in the streets. My bedroom, ever the death trap, is somewhat cleaner. I am a LONG way from where I want to be, but I am on a woman on a mission. I haven't felt this inspired in so very, very long. It is a cathartic feeling. My daughter joined me in this mission and her room is almost empty of what she called "clutter". My oldest and middle son are somewhat doing this as well.
Want to take up the challenge? First, do some brain work. Seriously think about who you are, what you love/are passionate about, what you would take with you if you knew you were going to be stranded on an island. Ask yourself why you don't have the time to pursue your passion (in my case, it was because life got in the way) and then ask what can you get rid of/delegate to someone else to do/limit your time doing, so that you can live a calmer life. Check books out of your local library. Google "Minimalist living" "Living Simple (or simple living). Here is what I have accomplished:
I found I spent an inordinate amount of time washing dishes. Yes, our kids wash them too, but still, way too much time doing this. So, I took one of my empty magazine bins, and loaded up 85% of my kitchen clutter in it. This left only 6 plates, 6 glasses, 6 forks, 6 spoons, 6 knives, 6 coffee cups, in my kitchen. One thing for each of the five people who live here and 1 set for company. I had two full sets of pots and pans. That's right, I packed up one full set. Wherever I found duplicates, I kept one, packed one up. Really emptied out my kitchen. Family objections? Yep. But they are coming around. It takes a fraction of the time to clean up the kitchen. One thing one of the books I read stated was that if you are unsure as to whether or not to donate something, put in a bin and store it for 3 months. That's right, put a piece of tape on the bin with today's date and then 3 months from today, if you haven't used it, donate it. If you use it once or twice a year (my turkey pan/platter, my deviled egg tray, my cranberry sauce dish) they now go downstairs and are not in the kitchen.
Onto the bath. I have an under-the-sink bin. And 4 drawers. I took out all the half used lotions/potions/stuff and tossed them. I took out all the stuff that was expired and threw them away. If it fits into the bin, it can stay. If not, well, we must not really need this.
Like I've said, this is a work in progress. I have agreed to not purchase anymore yarn, fiber, weaving materials until I use up most of what I have now. So guess who's getting homemade stuff for Christmas? That's right. Hey look, a money saver too! I already have enough stuff purchased to make everyone in North America a little (or big) something, now's a chance to pare it down.
But how do I feel? At first, I felt "this doesn't bother me". Then "why the hell am I doing this?". Then I thought of bargaining (You know, if you purchase this skein of yarn/this new gadget/this fiber, it would go with the "fill in the blank" that you already have and would look great together!) Then worried (what if I need something and I don't have it? I've always had such and such and now.....) but now, I feel good. Reminds me of a nursing book I read when my mom worked as an oncology nurse, "On death and dying". It listed almost the same 5 stages. Those were: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The more I read (library books, no purchased books for me) the more I see how much money I've wasted, how much time I've given away to the care and wellbeing of stuff that I didn't use anyway and how much of a carbon footprint I have left. And you know what? I have more time. Time I spent doing a million of declutter jobs is now time I spend doing fun stuff. The difference between having life and really living. You can navigate our bedroom without needing a sherpa guide. My kitchen isn't as cluttered and top heavy as it was. Oh look! Countertops! Lots of countertops. When I open a door to a cabinet, I don't need to worry about needing a hard hat. I am going to let the Jones go on purchasing and collecting their stuff and I am not going to try keeping up with them. Easy? Sometimes. Hard? Sometimes. But in the end, it's about who you are, what you want to do and how you want to do it. The less stuff you have, the less stress you have (lot's of medical opinion on that and I was surprised to find that the more stuff you have, the more stress you have).
Maybe this is why the Amish have a somewhat easier life.
Monday, November 4, 2013
I am hiding from my kids! Shhhhhh, don't let them find me!
I've decided that I need a break so I have snuck upstairs to hide from my kids. They are supposed to be doing the dishes (it's 8:45 p.m. and I haven't heard one drop of water run in the sink yet!) but what I hear are 3 kids, all on laptops, watching different versions of the same YouTube video and laughing and comparing notes. I'd almost bet tomorrow morning when I come down to get ready for work, the kitchen will look like it did after dinner. 3 of us will be unhappy. 1 of us will be UBER unhappy. 3 of us will regret watching videos. 1 of us will somewhat regret having children.
I remember when they were really young. I couldn't wait til they were older and would be less of a walking dirt distributor and more of an actual help. Now I am counting the days til they move out into their own homes! I plan on visiting, leaving cups and dishes all over their houses (apartments, after all, who am I kidding) leave my shoes in the middle of the walking areas, spill food on their carpets and leave it for their dog to clean up, misplace their car keys, leave my coat any old place and then whine and drag my feet when they say I'm behaving like a pig.
One of my dearest friends has no children left at home. Hers are all grown, married and moved out long ago. Her house is immaculate. She has time to knit, quilt, spin yarn. I have time to dust my wheel, my loom, my sewing machine. Her fabric is all sorted by color and detailing; mine is sorted by cat, as in whichever one he pushed off my table and onto the floor, I've picked up and shoved wily nily back onto the table. Her fiber is neatly bundled next to her wheel. Mine WAS neatly bundled, now it's a bit frayed round the edges from the cat (yep same cat). Our cat BlackJack just loves fiber. Many is the time we've watched him come trotting down the staircase with his latest prize, in his mouth, and him looking smug about it. Until he sees me. Drop and bolt, that's what we should have named him. He only grabs my expensive yarn (the Japanese yarn at $28/4 ounces) the nice fiber at $18/4 ounces). Never the cheap stuff. EVER. I can bury the good stuff down in a yarn bin, he will find it and dig it up like some sort of four legged, fur covered archaeologist. Her home is beautiful. My home, lived in. We had purchased a new sofa and matching love seat, 3 cats later, one back is shredded wheat (the loveseat) and the seat portion is a bit bowed to the center (#2 son jumped up and landed in the center of the loveseat, just to show us he could and busted out the center support. Couch has two extra cushions under the seats as we've had a rather large number of extra children call our house their home. To get up in the morning and NOT find some child sound asleep on my couch is more scary than if they are there. In fact, lately, we've been known to get up to only 1 child in the house. #1 son is still living at home but has his own floor. He lives in the basement and comes and goes pretty much as he pleases (when he's not at work). #2 son was sleeping over at a buddies' home. #1 daughter was sleeping over at a girlfriends' home. Besides being extra quiet, know what I noticed most? I'd cleaned the kitchen up after supper AND IT WAS STILL CLEAN WHEN I GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING!!!! The sight of a clean kitchen is like a portrait of Heaven to me.
While I do realize I will miss them when they are gone, I won't miss the mess, the clutter, that odd smell that no one will own up to and my car will no longer smell like a combination of every fast food franchise in the state. From the looks of my seat, maybe the next law we should pass should be "no eating in the car"!
I remember when they were really young. I couldn't wait til they were older and would be less of a walking dirt distributor and more of an actual help. Now I am counting the days til they move out into their own homes! I plan on visiting, leaving cups and dishes all over their houses (apartments, after all, who am I kidding) leave my shoes in the middle of the walking areas, spill food on their carpets and leave it for their dog to clean up, misplace their car keys, leave my coat any old place and then whine and drag my feet when they say I'm behaving like a pig.
One of my dearest friends has no children left at home. Hers are all grown, married and moved out long ago. Her house is immaculate. She has time to knit, quilt, spin yarn. I have time to dust my wheel, my loom, my sewing machine. Her fabric is all sorted by color and detailing; mine is sorted by cat, as in whichever one he pushed off my table and onto the floor, I've picked up and shoved wily nily back onto the table. Her fiber is neatly bundled next to her wheel. Mine WAS neatly bundled, now it's a bit frayed round the edges from the cat (yep same cat). Our cat BlackJack just loves fiber. Many is the time we've watched him come trotting down the staircase with his latest prize, in his mouth, and him looking smug about it. Until he sees me. Drop and bolt, that's what we should have named him. He only grabs my expensive yarn (the Japanese yarn at $28/4 ounces) the nice fiber at $18/4 ounces). Never the cheap stuff. EVER. I can bury the good stuff down in a yarn bin, he will find it and dig it up like some sort of four legged, fur covered archaeologist. Her home is beautiful. My home, lived in. We had purchased a new sofa and matching love seat, 3 cats later, one back is shredded wheat (the loveseat) and the seat portion is a bit bowed to the center (#2 son jumped up and landed in the center of the loveseat, just to show us he could and busted out the center support. Couch has two extra cushions under the seats as we've had a rather large number of extra children call our house their home. To get up in the morning and NOT find some child sound asleep on my couch is more scary than if they are there. In fact, lately, we've been known to get up to only 1 child in the house. #1 son is still living at home but has his own floor. He lives in the basement and comes and goes pretty much as he pleases (when he's not at work). #2 son was sleeping over at a buddies' home. #1 daughter was sleeping over at a girlfriends' home. Besides being extra quiet, know what I noticed most? I'd cleaned the kitchen up after supper AND IT WAS STILL CLEAN WHEN I GOT UP THE NEXT MORNING!!!! The sight of a clean kitchen is like a portrait of Heaven to me.
While I do realize I will miss them when they are gone, I won't miss the mess, the clutter, that odd smell that no one will own up to and my car will no longer smell like a combination of every fast food franchise in the state. From the looks of my seat, maybe the next law we should pass should be "no eating in the car"!
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Kids, chores and does it ever end?
It is 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Daughter dearest is at her friends house (sleepover from Friday night that I am assured sleep was the last thing achieved), #2 son is sleeping and hubby and #1 son are up and planning their day. We are finishing up #1 sons bedroom (in our basement). Today, they paint and lay the hardwood flooring. Tomorrow they hang the suspended ceiling. Chris is hanging out his electrical wiring so that it is hidden in the walls, coming out only where needed and not dangling around all over his room. He has a surround sound system and hated seeing the wiring draped here and there. Now it will not be visible. He chose a tan color for the room and with the golden hardwood flooring, it will look fabulous. In a year or so, when he moves out, this room becomes my sewing room. Chris has taken very good care of limiting the number of holes in his walls and has always been an uber neat freak.
What I like about it is the size, roughly 12 by 12. I have a 4 treadle loom (and when the conversion kit arrives, it will become a 6 treadle loom), a spinning wheel, a treadle sewing machine, 4 other sewing machines and I need room to house them. Right now, the wheel and loom are in my den, taking up way too much space. I have enough yarn (and fiber to be spun into yarn) to outfit most of the local school with hats, mittens, socks, sweaters and afghans. I've got enough fabric to make quilts for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and enough fat quarters to make pillowcases to go with them. I refuse to estimate the number of books I have but I've seen libraries that have less. I don't need a room, I need a whole house!
But since I can't afford a house, 1 room will have to do. I've been on Pinterest (mind crack for computer junkies) and found a whole host of ideas on how to store yarn, fabric, sewing room layout......it's obvious to me that a few trips to the ReStore store for cabinets (both wall mount and 6 stand alone cabinets) will be a start. I saw a perfect center island made with 6 stand alone cabinets and a piece of countertop. Perfect. A place to cut fabric that can remain up. And with all the storage under the island, do I smell another shopping expedition? Why yes, I think I do.......
Well, time to start MY day. I've laundry, vacuuming, floor washing, meal making........but as I watch the room take shape, it is fun imagining what I will do to it after he's gone.
What I like about it is the size, roughly 12 by 12. I have a 4 treadle loom (and when the conversion kit arrives, it will become a 6 treadle loom), a spinning wheel, a treadle sewing machine, 4 other sewing machines and I need room to house them. Right now, the wheel and loom are in my den, taking up way too much space. I have enough yarn (and fiber to be spun into yarn) to outfit most of the local school with hats, mittens, socks, sweaters and afghans. I've got enough fabric to make quilts for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and enough fat quarters to make pillowcases to go with them. I refuse to estimate the number of books I have but I've seen libraries that have less. I don't need a room, I need a whole house!
But since I can't afford a house, 1 room will have to do. I've been on Pinterest (mind crack for computer junkies) and found a whole host of ideas on how to store yarn, fabric, sewing room layout......it's obvious to me that a few trips to the ReStore store for cabinets (both wall mount and 6 stand alone cabinets) will be a start. I saw a perfect center island made with 6 stand alone cabinets and a piece of countertop. Perfect. A place to cut fabric that can remain up. And with all the storage under the island, do I smell another shopping expedition? Why yes, I think I do.......
Well, time to start MY day. I've laundry, vacuuming, floor washing, meal making........but as I watch the room take shape, it is fun imagining what I will do to it after he's gone.
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